yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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