yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
