We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
