Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
