And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
