Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
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