woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
