I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
