You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
