Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I am midnight drunk by noon
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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