Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
