Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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