Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
