Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
