Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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