You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
