i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
