You smell like stripper and shame
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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