so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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