Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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