YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
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Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
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Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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