The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
