why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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