Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
