real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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