I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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