I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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