Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
