Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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