If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
