it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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