Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
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It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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