Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We named our party play list daddy issues
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
