One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
