I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
