tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house