my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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