What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled