his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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