I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
