We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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