My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
