Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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