Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Houston, we have a squirter
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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