he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
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He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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