Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
