dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
