im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
