im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
