dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
two words...techno handjob
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
