We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
