Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
