I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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