The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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