So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
