Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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