You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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