If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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