My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
