Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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