Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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