Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize