is your mom at the bar?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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