Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
