He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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