I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
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Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
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I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating