If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.