Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
